Saturday, 26 November 2011

Financial Jealousy!

I have a friend, the same age as me, looking into buying a house with his girlfriend. He has a nice car, already lives with his girlfriend, went on holiday to New York recently, etc., etc. I have to admit it; I'm jealous.

I've read that jealousy shows you what you desire. Well, I would definitely like to live with The Boyfriend instead of at our respective parents' houses after five years! My friend's worked very hard (after graduating a year ago) to be in the financially stable position he is in now, so I definitely don't begrudge him his situation, I just wish I could be in it too!

Then there are the customers at work who pull out their highly overstuffed wallets and peel off a £20 note from the several hundred pounds worth inside.. I definitely feel the green-eyed monster trying to escape then!

It's silly to be jealous. There are always people worse off than you and things may not be as they seem. I could have a bulging wallet if I withdrew my entire overdraft too! (It would almost be worth it to see the looks on my friends' faces actually... :D) The rich man you see may have just got an inheritance, or simply worked hard to save up for something he wanted.

So rather than feeling jealous, I suggest (to myself and anyone who wants a suggestion!) that we feel good about trying to improve our own finances and let other people worry about their own. Money can bring both security and worry, so it's best just to see it as another tool for life and find our happiness elsewhere.


saving for travel said...

Sounds like wise words to me.

Deep down you know your own path will lead you to true happiness.

Sft x

Meanqueen said...

Sometimes it's hard not to be jealous. If I see some rich person flashing the cash I just remind myself that I'm glad to be me.

lizzie said...

A good book to read is The Millionaire Next Door, very interesting it shows who actually has the money in the U.S.
Sometimes people with a high consumption lifestyle are very heavily in debt. It has also been shown that an amazing amount of wealth can be accumulated on quite modest salaries.
You are young, energetic and well educated. If you are living with your parents be sure to capitalize on that and save and invest, it is a great opportunity and you will be independant very soon.

rivulet said...

I remember when I was a kid I'd see someone with really nice car or a huge house and I'd say something like, "wow, that guy must be SOOO rich." Well my mom always came back with something like,"actually he's probably really poor." In other words he's most likely spent ALL of his money (and then some) on that car or that house.

I imagine for years that to other people it looked like my husband and I were really well off. When we took trips to NYC, Ireland, Chicago, ect; and pretty much bought whatever we wanted but in fact we were just REALLY stupid.

You're going about things the right way. Keep up the good work and remember that rich guy is probably in debt (it's just the truth).

Maria said...

I think you have nailed it on the head there - occasional feelings of jealousy at someone else's apparent wealth are pretty normal I think, but the important thing is to remind oneself/ourselves of all the context (that they might be in debt, that they have chosen a different/better paid career for whatever reason) - and as you say, money can bring both security and worry.

Pamela said...

Bryallen, I second the suggestion to read the Millionaire Next Door. I had bouts of jealousy as well (still do sometimes) but as I got older, I learned that some of those people were in hock up to their eyeballs. I'd rather not be in hock, so. . .not so jealous anymore!

Like you, I am happy for your friend, and I am fully confident that you will own a lovely home one day. Why? Because you are taking the right steps now.

Isa said...

Nah... I'm still hoping on getting some idea for a table cloth (that we don't have here in Malta...) and hopping someone will give me inspiration for more stuff for my tree.

Bryallen, if you want I can give you some hints to save money... I make my own soap, my own detergent to clean surfaces, wc's and floor...

I still can't answer to your comments through e-mail...


cumbrian said...

Like Ilona Meanqueen says, it's sometimes hard not to be jealous.

For 35 years I was jealous of other people and their affluence / posessions / lifestyle, and worked progressively harder over the years to buy things I didn't really want with money I didn't really have to impress people I didn't really like, just trying to stay abreast of the rat-race.

When my (now thankfully ex) wife of 35 years decided she no longer wished to share her life with me, I thought my whole world had ended, being made homeless and destitute.

I now live (with my present wife) on about one-sixth or one-seventh of what I used to earn and never been happier.

I doubt if my ex is as happy with her new (millionaire) boyfriend, I'm not in the least bit jealous of new cars, bulging wallets, limitless credit cards.

Get your priorities right and enjoy what you have.

Anonymous said...

Read about Buddhism I haven't myself lol, but I hear it's all about controlling and regulating your desires, jealousy is one of the stronger serious negative ones.

Anonymous said...

It's interesting from the above comments (this is my 2nd, the one directly above is me too).. People are jealous, and they feel better after they read the "Millionaire book" which pretty much shows how in debt the other person is, it's almost like, as long as they are suffering like me I am happy, that probably causes guilt as well... And bringing it together with Cumbrian's post.. Lots of those people with flashy shit, well maybe they are just emulating someone else with flashy shit, so it's a self perpetuating thing.. And what is the cause? Perhaps it's a social desire to be rich/famous, which as Cumbrian said, after you look at your priorities, you realize this shit doesn't matter. But it takes soul searching caused sometimes by failure. The more you know about it, the better off you'll feel.